目录
Content
Chapter_1
Chapter_2
Chapter_3
Chapter_4
Chapter_5
Chapter_6
Chapter_7
Chapter_8
Chapter_9
Chapter_10
Chapter_11
Chapter_12
Chapter_1
601 To Market, To Market
When you live in the city that never sleeps... it comes as a bit of a shock when somehow...you manage to oversleep.
Taxi!
Excuse me.
Taxi!
Thank you.
Shit!
Sir, I have to be downtown in 30 minutes.
Thank you.
Keep the change.
I thought that you need a lift.
Excuse me. Hi.
Which way to the stock exchange?
There.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Step forward.
Okay.
Stop. Give him the bag.
Here, can you hold that?
Let's go. Stop. Arms.
I'm sorry.
Sir, can you hurry? I'm here to ring the bell.
Go ahead.
Okay, Thank you.
Step forward.
All right, you have to put this on.
And we gotta hurry up.
Today, one of New York's favorite newspa-pers...the New York Star is going public.
And here to open trading is one of its favorite
columnists...Carrie Bradshaw.
Now you can press it.
The day after the stock market...I met the ladies for Lunch in the fashionable Meat Market.
It was so exciting. It almost made me want to invest in something.
I love the stock market.
A room full of screaming, sweating men all trying to get it up.
I don't invest anymore. it's too volatile.
Exactly. I like my money right where I can see it.
Hanging in my closet.
Actually, your stock is up. I bought shares of your newspaper yesterday.
Really? Thank you, sweetie.
Was it expensive?
No, you're cheap.
I never....Ladies.
Thank you.
$20 for a hamburger? That's reasonable.
Pathetic. When I moved to this neighbor-hood...the only thing that cost $20 was a hand job from a tranny.
I'm serious. it's all gotten so sanitary.
I mean no smoking in bars.
What's next? No fucking in bars?
Well, first there would have to be a no-fuck-ing section.
I mean, just look at this street.
Stella McCartney, Alexander McQueen.
The only designer name that belongs in the Meatpacking District...is Oscar Mayer.
I never liked his clothes.
Too fatty.
But that's what's great about New York.
There's always a new neighborhood or restaurant....A new man.
That's right. Friday night, my first official date with Jack Berger.
That is so exciting. isn't that exciting?
Sure. it's all fun and games till someone has a child.
So, what do you two have planned?
He hasn't said yet.
So many outfits need to be scouted.
You kids today and your dating.
I know. I feel like a girl of 35 again.
I really like him.
Then you better find out his bottom line right up front.
If Harry had told me he could only be seri-ous about me if I were Jewish...I doubt I'd be in my situation.
I don't get it. What kind of man passes up pussy for Purim?
Soup and a tenderloin of pork.
What's with the face?
I didn't make a face.
I said pork, you went....it's just I'm confused.
You can order pork, but you can't get serious about our future...because I'm not Jewish.
And from the meat market to the marriage market.
Charlotte, it doesn't work that way.
I'm not kosher. I'm conservative.
I'm conservative, too.
My conservative doesn't have anything to do with wearing pearls.
Look, I know what you're thinking, okay?
''Why did I let things get this far without talking about this?
''Why did I sleep with you or even kiss you?''
Why did you?
Because I couldn't not kiss you.
Not sleep with you, not see you.
Believe me, I never thought a shiksa goddess like you...would fall for a putz like me.
You're not a putz.
Do you even know what ''putz'' means?
Yes, schmuck.
Sure you're not Jewish?
And from Jewish to poolsh.
You got a little doody on your forehead.
What? Where?
No. Now you got more. The other side.
Which side?
Help! it's not funny. Baby wipe me.
Get it off!
''Baby wipe me.''
I did not say it like that. Just get it off.
''Baby wipe me.''
Let's see how you like it.
No, Miranda!
No, Knock it off!
Brady, tell Mommy to stop chasing Daddy.
What?
I don't think it's funny.
You weren't the one with shit on your face.
You were chasing me.
I don't have time for this.
I have to get up early.
I don't know why you're here.
You dropped off the baby hours ago.
I don't have time to stand around while you read the paper...and order food in....Don't you have a life?
I got a life.
Bye, Brady.
I'm in love with Steve.
Hold this.
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
Come on, are you seriously telling me you didn't know?
I knew. I just can't believe you admitted it.
I need a drink. What have you got?
it's 11 :30 on a Saturday morning.
Did you not hear me just say I was in love with Steve?
I think I got an old bottle of Kahlúa some-where.
Okay, hold on there, Brady.
Mama needs a Cocktail.
Last night, we were in the dining room,and we were laughing.
All of a sudden, I looked over at him and I realized...we belong together.
So I picked a fight and threw him out of my apartment.
Good thinking.
These Triscuits have been here since the mid'80s.
I so cannot be in love with Steve.
Steve so is not the guy for me.
Miranda....You're right.
Steve so is the guy for me.
No, I was just asking if Brady can eat crack-ers yet.
No.
How can I have been wrong all these years?
You weren't wrong.
It just took you a while to get here.
What are you gonna do?
I don't know.
I have a lot invested in this relationship.
Plus we have the baby.
Plus you said you were in love with him.
So how are you gonna tell him?
Maybe I should take him somewhere roman-tic...where I can't start a fight.
My God, Miranda.
Do you know what this means?
You're asking Steve out on a date.
Hi, Samantha.
Hiya.
You're looking good, Sam.
That night, as Samantha walked home...past her friendly neighborhood bar, the Rampole...she saw something truly upsetting.
Just what we need: another Wall Street ass-hole with money.
Hold the door!
Hi, Thanks. I live here.
See, here are my keys.
Chip Kilkenny. I've just moved in.
Samantha Jones. 3F.
I'm 4F. You're right under me.
That sounds promising.
That's quite a car.
I love a nice Hummer.
Good night.
And uptown, in a slightly less obvious ma-neuver....I'm close.
Honey!
Is this whole Jewish thing really that big a deal?
No! God!
The next morning, bright and early....Good morning.
There's a happy face.
I am a happy face.
it's a beautiful morning, and the sun is shin-ing.
And you changed your mind about the Jew-ish thing.
What Jewish thing? When?
Last night.
I asked you if it was that important to you...and you said no.
I did?
Yeah.
When we were making love, right before you came.
How could you not